the audition results are still not out yet. heard its quite competitive, but my teacher is confident we can get through. i hope so too...
damn sad the branch where i am learning guitar is shifting. i like the current location, its beside a library and a community centre and the place is very small and comfortable. now they are shifting to somewhere very commercialised, with tuition centres around. duno if i will still want to continue learning there. anw i am shifting hse soon.
and there wont be anymore bus concession after nov10. duno if my transportation costs will increase by alot. but i am more than willing to bear the costs :)
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Sunday, November 1, 2009
i went for my guitar audition today. its an ensemble consisting of me and another guitarist and our teacher. our teacher is the bassist while i strum the chords and the other guitarist plays the melody. we are playing tico tico, a brazilian piece.
i strummed a wrong chord during the audition but i changed it back. i thought i would be nervous but i was actually enjoying myself during the audition, to the extent that i was not paying much attention and enjoying what i was playing and strumming until i heard that something sounded wrong and omg, i realised it was a wrong chord and i had to change to the right one. other than that there were some minor mistakes here and there that were not too significant, at least for now, cuz we were not too steady to begin with.
normally i would be damn sad for the mistake but this time i dun really feel sad. maybe cos the experience was fun and i enjoyed myself, trying to smile to the judges and appear like i enjoy the music which i really do.
and the night before i actually had a nightmare about the audition. i was suppose to be playing the starting notes for tico tico, but the notes of the entertainer appeared in my brain instead, if u know what i am saying, and i kept wondering why i could not get it right.
but i am glad the audition's over and i just have to hope for the best and hope we get to perform in the concert.
i strummed a wrong chord during the audition but i changed it back. i thought i would be nervous but i was actually enjoying myself during the audition, to the extent that i was not paying much attention and enjoying what i was playing and strumming until i heard that something sounded wrong and omg, i realised it was a wrong chord and i had to change to the right one. other than that there were some minor mistakes here and there that were not too significant, at least for now, cuz we were not too steady to begin with.
normally i would be damn sad for the mistake but this time i dun really feel sad. maybe cos the experience was fun and i enjoyed myself, trying to smile to the judges and appear like i enjoy the music which i really do.
and the night before i actually had a nightmare about the audition. i was suppose to be playing the starting notes for tico tico, but the notes of the entertainer appeared in my brain instead, if u know what i am saying, and i kept wondering why i could not get it right.
but i am glad the audition's over and i just have to hope for the best and hope we get to perform in the concert.
Friday, October 23, 2009
ahhhhh i missed my dental appointment. now i have to pay my own money to remove my wisdom tooth. damn sad can.
Monday, September 28, 2009
love story
我站在原地不动，看着你的背影，渐渐地和他，在行驶的车上消失。而萧邦 (chopin) 的夜曲又再次浮现在我的脑海里。。。
***
记得小时候，你和我是一起长大的。小时候我们经常在一起闹，一起玩。其实小时候的事情我不是很记得，对你印象最深刻是你是个野丫头，又刁蛮又任性，而且你的力气可大了。有一次和你打架你居然打赢了我。
小时候我们也一起学钢琴。你很喜欢萧邦的夜曲op9-2 ，还说以后谁若是为你弹奏这首曲子，你一定嫁给他。当时我们也一起比赛，看谁先学会这首曲子。结果你学得比我快，还在我面前弹起了这首曲子。
到了小学，中学，我们还是经常在一起。你的功课很好，上课时我有什么不明白你都能解释给我。而我也只是‘木木‘的，对学习不是很上进，总是爱发呆。
到了初级学院，你的蜕变是惊人的。从一个野丫头，你变成了一个美丽可人的少女，娇媚清秀的外表配上苹果般的脸孔，一头秀长的黑发和修长的身躯。加上你的功课很好，很受老师同学的喜爱。而我只是很普通，一点也不起眼。但是无论我到哪里，你都会跟着我。
考试成绩放榜的那一天，你考到了优异的成绩，进入了理想大学。而我成绩不佳，上不了大学。转眼我被列入国家的军队，必须服两年的兵役。在这两年，你还是会常常给我写信，并且寄一些你的照片给我。
这段漫长的岁月也总算过去了。你和我都踏入社会工作。虽然是社会新鲜人，你整个人却散发出自信，而这股自信是很有美感的。这段期间，你也认识了男朋友，我很替你高兴，常常问起关于他的事情。但你始终不曾提起过他，我也无心过问。
终于，公司要派我到国外去。那天，你来我家，说你会舍不得我，还要我在离开前最后一次为你弹奏萧邦的夜曲。我随口答应了。由于很久没有练琴，我弹奏得不是很熟练，也没放太多的感情。但在弹奏时，你的眼泪居然落了下来，还哭得泣不成声。
那天，我体内的激情燃烧起来。我走向你，把你抱在怀里，然后强力的吻了你。你也没有大力地抗拒，只是身体很僵硬，脸部表情很痛苦，眼泪也一直往下掉。那天晚上，你给了我一个秘密，让我走进了你的世界。在那永无止境的夜里，我们二合为一体，两情缠绵。。。
但那一夜的激情没有把我留下。到了国外，我才发现我一直忽略你的存在。没有你的日子真的很不习惯，可惜已经太迟了。我在外国生活了三年，赚了一笔钱，也尝到了寂寞的滋味。
三年很快过去了，我回到这里，感觉一切好似一场梦。你就站在我面前，穿着纯白色的婚纱。你的美丽是很惊人的，我差一点认不出你。但那个新郎不是我，我是你和他的伴郎。恭喜你，我故作大方地说，想隐瞒内心的悲伤。我不知道我的眼睛是否出卖了我，也不知道你是否能够体会我的难过。
但在你和他交换戒指的那一刻，你的眼泪毫无保留的落了下来。你赢我；从小到大都是你赢我。到了这一刻，还是你赢我。我不曾对你说出口的那三个字，你用你的眼泪替我说出了。而这将是我内心一个永远的遗憾。
看着你的背影渐渐的消失，这一切好似一场梦。如果梦醒了，一切可以回到过去就好了。但是你已经走了，你不会再回来了。从此我心中的一部分死掉了。
***
记得小时候，你和我是一起长大的。小时候我们经常在一起闹，一起玩。其实小时候的事情我不是很记得，对你印象最深刻是你是个野丫头，又刁蛮又任性，而且你的力气可大了。有一次和你打架你居然打赢了我。
小时候我们也一起学钢琴。你很喜欢萧邦的夜曲op9-2 ，还说以后谁若是为你弹奏这首曲子，你一定嫁给他。当时我们也一起比赛，看谁先学会这首曲子。结果你学得比我快，还在我面前弹起了这首曲子。
到了小学，中学，我们还是经常在一起。你的功课很好，上课时我有什么不明白你都能解释给我。而我也只是‘木木‘的，对学习不是很上进，总是爱发呆。
到了初级学院，你的蜕变是惊人的。从一个野丫头，你变成了一个美丽可人的少女，娇媚清秀的外表配上苹果般的脸孔，一头秀长的黑发和修长的身躯。加上你的功课很好，很受老师同学的喜爱。而我只是很普通，一点也不起眼。但是无论我到哪里，你都会跟着我。
考试成绩放榜的那一天，你考到了优异的成绩，进入了理想大学。而我成绩不佳，上不了大学。转眼我被列入国家的军队，必须服两年的兵役。在这两年，你还是会常常给我写信，并且寄一些你的照片给我。
这段漫长的岁月也总算过去了。你和我都踏入社会工作。虽然是社会新鲜人，你整个人却散发出自信，而这股自信是很有美感的。这段期间，你也认识了男朋友，我很替你高兴，常常问起关于他的事情。但你始终不曾提起过他，我也无心过问。
终于，公司要派我到国外去。那天，你来我家，说你会舍不得我，还要我在离开前最后一次为你弹奏萧邦的夜曲。我随口答应了。由于很久没有练琴，我弹奏得不是很熟练，也没放太多的感情。但在弹奏时，你的眼泪居然落了下来，还哭得泣不成声。
那天，我体内的激情燃烧起来。我走向你，把你抱在怀里，然后强力的吻了你。你也没有大力地抗拒，只是身体很僵硬，脸部表情很痛苦，眼泪也一直往下掉。那天晚上，你给了我一个秘密，让我走进了你的世界。在那永无止境的夜里，我们二合为一体，两情缠绵。。。
但那一夜的激情没有把我留下。到了国外，我才发现我一直忽略你的存在。没有你的日子真的很不习惯，可惜已经太迟了。我在外国生活了三年，赚了一笔钱，也尝到了寂寞的滋味。
三年很快过去了，我回到这里，感觉一切好似一场梦。你就站在我面前，穿着纯白色的婚纱。你的美丽是很惊人的，我差一点认不出你。但那个新郎不是我，我是你和他的伴郎。恭喜你，我故作大方地说，想隐瞒内心的悲伤。我不知道我的眼睛是否出卖了我，也不知道你是否能够体会我的难过。
但在你和他交换戒指的那一刻，你的眼泪毫无保留的落了下来。你赢我；从小到大都是你赢我。到了这一刻，还是你赢我。我不曾对你说出口的那三个字，你用你的眼泪替我说出了。而这将是我内心一个永远的遗憾。
看着你的背影渐渐的消失，这一切好似一场梦。如果梦醒了，一切可以回到过去就好了。但是你已经走了，你不会再回来了。从此我心中的一部分死掉了。
Friday, September 18, 2009
life has truly been good. i've not been to the camp for the past 2 weeks and i wont be gg to camp for the next week save the monday (hari raya) duty. i also wont be gg camp for the whole of october. now nothing pisses me off except the weather. It rains whenever i dun want it to.
I like life the way it is now, living in my own world, at my own pace, doing what i want without restrictions and influences from other people. If i have lots of money now, i can be king!
And i am shifting house soon, i saw the new house and i thought it is simply awesome! I can have my own room, more than what i ever wanted for 20 years.
After shifting house next year, i doubt i will be gg to continue my guitar lessons with my current teacher. Geographical limitations... lol. Anyway i dun think hes a really good teacher but i just enjoy playing a little bit of music every week.
I want to find a new teacher at a more convenient location. I hope to find someone who can be more inspiring and shares the same love of bach's music with me and teach me their interpretations.
I recently saw an excerpt from hilary hahn, a virtuoso violinist: I also remember the feeling of revelation in a recital in Texas years later when, in the middle of playing the D Minor Partita, I suddenly heard for the first time what is going on harmonically in the Ciaconna: it was one of the great insights of my life.
Even a talent like her takes years to understand the beauty and complexity of bach's music. I duno if i can ever understand it, but i hope to be able to play some of bach's music some day with a little more than the love for the music.
I like life the way it is now, living in my own world, at my own pace, doing what i want without restrictions and influences from other people. If i have lots of money now, i can be king!
And i am shifting house soon, i saw the new house and i thought it is simply awesome! I can have my own room, more than what i ever wanted for 20 years.
After shifting house next year, i doubt i will be gg to continue my guitar lessons with my current teacher. Geographical limitations... lol. Anyway i dun think hes a really good teacher but i just enjoy playing a little bit of music every week.
I want to find a new teacher at a more convenient location. I hope to find someone who can be more inspiring and shares the same love of bach's music with me and teach me their interpretations.
I recently saw an excerpt from hilary hahn, a virtuoso violinist: I also remember the feeling of revelation in a recital in Texas years later when, in the middle of playing the D Minor Partita, I suddenly heard for the first time what is going on harmonically in the Ciaconna: it was one of the great insights of my life.
Even a talent like her takes years to understand the beauty and complexity of bach's music. I duno if i can ever understand it, but i hope to be able to play some of bach's music some day with a little more than the love for the music.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
lalala
today i went for my guitar lesson as usual. i had the timing rescheduled to the afternoon so as to make up for the lost time i spent in thailand.
i wasn't expecting much except the usual i-play-and-the-teacher-comment kind of lesson. but at the end of it the teacher told me to practice the song and try to memorise it. Cause he may want me to perform at the music school's annual student recital. OMG!!! i was suffering from a state of shock when i heard the word perform.
Haha perform is not a natural word for me. Means to say i am not a natural performer and i get stage fright, lots of it. I recalled my 2 other guitar performance (pop song accompaniment) and the memories weren't exactly pleasant. Furthermore this time i'm doing a classical piece, Pepita (vals) by Agustin Barrios Mangore. And i haven even heard a proper rendition of this song. There is none available in youtube.
Recovering from the initial state of shock, of cause i feel quite happy that i may get to perform, but i am not even confident. And my fingers get stiff when i am nervous. I feel nervous even when i'm singing in front of friends or playing the euphonium. And this is truly my first time performing a classical piece.
Yea i would love to go to the recital but as an audience and not a performer lol. Haha its still a long way to the recital i guess and i'm still not even halfway done with my song. Haha i shall see how it goes.
Something random, theres a new receptionist at the music school of the branch where i go for my lessons, and i think shes quite pretty. I rarely think people are pretty but she gives me the feeling of the female lead actress in jay chou's movie secret lol. I would love to talk to her but i am quite shy haha. And i think shes older than me opps. Haha...
i wasn't expecting much except the usual i-play-and-the-teacher-comment kind of lesson. but at the end of it the teacher told me to practice the song and try to memorise it. Cause he may want me to perform at the music school's annual student recital. OMG!!! i was suffering from a state of shock when i heard the word perform.
Haha perform is not a natural word for me. Means to say i am not a natural performer and i get stage fright, lots of it. I recalled my 2 other guitar performance (pop song accompaniment) and the memories weren't exactly pleasant. Furthermore this time i'm doing a classical piece, Pepita (vals) by Agustin Barrios Mangore. And i haven even heard a proper rendition of this song. There is none available in youtube.
Recovering from the initial state of shock, of cause i feel quite happy that i may get to perform, but i am not even confident. And my fingers get stiff when i am nervous. I feel nervous even when i'm singing in front of friends or playing the euphonium. And this is truly my first time performing a classical piece.
Yea i would love to go to the recital but as an audience and not a performer lol. Haha its still a long way to the recital i guess and i'm still not even halfway done with my song. Haha i shall see how it goes.
Something random, theres a new receptionist at the music school of the branch where i go for my lessons, and i think shes quite pretty. I rarely think people are pretty but she gives me the feeling of the female lead actress in jay chou's movie secret lol. I would love to talk to her but i am quite shy haha. And i think shes older than me opps. Haha...
Monday, September 7, 2009
My army days are numbered. Considering the number of offs and leaves i have, i will only need to return to camp for a few days before i officially ord.
Come to think of it, my life in camp has been relatively good despite all the whinnings and complaints that i made. And the nsf in my camp are very nice people and it has been a joy knowing them and working with them. Going to thailand with them was quite fun and we bonded together and although nth constructive came out of those trips, there is no reason to feel bitter about it either. Somtimes i may not agree with their personalities like they may not agree with my working attitude but then again its just life. There maybe more to come in uni and in future in the society.
As i am going to clear the stuff in my bunk later to make room for the new people, i thought of the first day i posted in and all the reluctance to come to camp and the desire to ord immediately. And now i really am going to ord soon. I guess i wont miss the place when i leave but i know its time to move on. Now theres no more time for just slacking and no more excuse to be fooling around and wasting my life.
Come to think of it, my life in camp has been relatively good despite all the whinnings and complaints that i made. And the nsf in my camp are very nice people and it has been a joy knowing them and working with them. Going to thailand with them was quite fun and we bonded together and although nth constructive came out of those trips, there is no reason to feel bitter about it either. Somtimes i may not agree with their personalities like they may not agree with my working attitude but then again its just life. There maybe more to come in uni and in future in the society.
As i am going to clear the stuff in my bunk later to make room for the new people, i thought of the first day i posted in and all the reluctance to come to camp and the desire to ord immediately. And now i really am going to ord soon. I guess i wont miss the place when i leave but i know its time to move on. Now theres no more time for just slacking and no more excuse to be fooling around and wasting my life.
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